he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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