Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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