I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
