She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
