I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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