You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
