At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we're making bets on your personal life
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize