Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
