what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My ass is underappreciated
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
