Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
