Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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