guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
