1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize