weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
