His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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