on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
