I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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