Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I had to cum in my sink.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
