All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
