What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
