My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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