listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize