i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
