She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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