Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
