Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
