Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
