Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
