ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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