It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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