Apparently you make a good broom.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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