Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
