hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize