just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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