The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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