and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize