Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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