she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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