I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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