as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I intend to get homeless drunk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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