UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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