I hate all girls vehemently.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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