Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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