But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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