You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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