i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
