the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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