And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
