Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
