Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
