Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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