Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
