the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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