We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
