I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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