Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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