You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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