I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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