oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
