I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
