Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
