did you get engaged???
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
