im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is Oprah even human
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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