"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
